Apparently, I Can’t Handle the Whole Willie 😂

Y’all, it is time for an update on the Willie’s gummies, and unfortunately, I have lived to tell the tale. 😂

Now, I have told y’all before that gummies and I have a HISTORY. And not a good one.

I’m talking about the REAL gummies. The ones with actual THC in them—not those little CBD gummies we used to get around here that basically did nothing. I tried the real ones before, and it did NOT go well. If you want that whole story, go read my blog because apparently I did not learn a damn thing from my own life experiences. 😂

So naturally, I ORDERED MORE GUMMIES.

Why???

I have absolutely no idea.

I already have my Willie’s juice. The Willie’s juice works perfectly fine for me. I take HALF a dose, mind my business, go to sleep, and everybody survives.

But last night I decided it was finally time to try one of these Willie’s gummies.

So there I am standing at the kitchen counter holding this gummy, and I live with THE RULE FOLLOWER, so of course Welton is involved.

Welton tells me to take one because, in his mind, ONE GUMMY = ONE DOSE.

So I put the gummy in my mouth.

I CHEW THE GUMMY.

And THEN this man apparently decides this would be an excellent time to investigate the dosage.

Suddenly he’s like, “WAIT! SPIT IT OUT!”

Sir.

It has already been CHEWED.

I am not spitting a half-chewed Willie Nelson gummy into my hand like a toddler who found a Lego.

ALSO, THESE THINGS ARE NOT CHEAP. 😂

So I swallowed it.

And y’all…

Apparently my body is NOT equipped for large quantities of Willie Nelson.

I CANNOT DO IT. 😂😂😂

Welton keeps telling me, “It’s not marijuana.”

I don’t care what you call it, sir. MY BODY THINKS WE ARE AT WOODSTOCK.

I became so paranoid.

I thought my dog was dying.

I thought I couldn’t breathe.

I thought something was wrong with me.

At one point I’m pretty sure I had diagnosed myself with approximately 14 medical conditions and had mentally prepared the family for my passing.

And finally, I just laid my head down and started talking to God.

“Dear God, I am SO SORRY I did drugs. I promise I have learned my lesson. Please just make Willie Nelson leave my body.” 😂😂😂

And apparently the Lord heard me because eventually I fell asleep.

I woke up this morning…

ALIVE.

NORMAL.

DOG ALSO ALIVE.

Praise Jesus. 😂

So here is my official review of the Willie’s gummies:

We are shelving those little bastards for now.

MAYBE—and I mean MAYBE—I will try half of one at some point in the future.

But today?

Absolutely not.

I will be returning to my half-dose of Willie’s juice where I belong.

Because apparently I can handle a little Willie…

I just cannot handle the WHOLE Willie. 😂😂😂