Respect: Maybe We Should Learn What It Means 🤔

I have to tell y’all, the word respect has really been laying heavy on my heart lately. And I think it’s because that word gets thrown around so much that sometimes I wonder if people have ever actually stopped and looked up what it means before demanding it from somebody else.

Because respect is a whole lot more than saying, “You need to respect me.”

Respect means consideration. It means having regard for someone else’s feelings, wishes, rights, and boundaries. It means how you speak to people, how you treat them, and how you show up for them. It can mean calling someone, checking on them, asking how they’re doing, caring enough to ask if they need anything. It’s not just something you demand when you feel like you’ve been wronged.

And here’s the part that really gets me: respect works both ways.

You cannot continuously disrespect someone and then be offended when they finally stop allowing it. You cannot disregard someone’s feelings, dismiss their boundaries, speak to them however you want, or make them feel like they don’t matter—and then turn around and demand respect from them.

That’s not how respect works.

Growing up, we were taught to respect our elders. That was drilled into me, and honestly, I still carry it with me today. I try very hard to be respectful to people older than me because that is how I was raised.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also learned something I wish we had been taught right along with it:

Being older does not give someone permission to disrespect you.

There have absolutely been times when I have failed miserably at keeping my mouth shut when I felt disrespected. I’ll own that. But I also no longer believe that respecting someone means sitting quietly while they mistreat you simply because they’re older, they’re family, they hold a certain title, or they believe they’re entitled to your respect.

There is a difference between being respectful and allowing yourself to be disrespected.

And yes, I believe everyone deserves basic human decency. But I also believe there are deeper levels of respect that are earned by the way you consistently treat other people.

So before you tell somebody they need to respect you, maybe ask yourself a few questions.

Do I respect them? Do I consider their feelings? Do I respect their boundaries? Do I speak to them the way I expect them to speak to me? Do I show them through my actions that they matter to me?

Because if the answer to those questions is no, then maybe “respect” is a word you need to understand a little better before you start demanding it from everybody else.

Respect is not a one-way street.

If you want it, give it. If you expect it, show it. And if you don’t understand what it actually means, you might want to sit this one out.