I Have Absolutely Nothing to Report… So Here Are 47 Things 😂

Y’all, I didn’t write a blog last night.

I know. Who even am I?

I told y’all I was going to lock myself inside my house after Friday and not come back out until basically Tuesday. Well, apparently I lie. Not intentionally, but every single time I announce that I’m going into hiding, life is like, “That’s cute. Get dressed.”

Welton works from home on Fridays and normally he’s finished around 1:00-ish, so I thought we’d knock out my errands early and I’d be home with plenty of time to do absolutely nothing.

Wrong.

He had a ton of work to do, and we didn’t even leave the house until about 3:30. By then I was STARVING because, naturally, I had not eaten all day.

This is another weird thing about us. If Welton and I know we’re going out to dinner, we usually don’t eat breakfast or lunch because then we won’t be hungry for dinner. I realize this probably violates every nutritional recommendation ever written, but here we are. Sometimes we’ll have a little breakfast snack if dinner is going to be late, and somehow we have survived.

Anyway, we decided to go eat before we finished running errands.

We went back to this restaurant in Katy that we had been to a long time ago and then, for reasons neither of us can remember, never went back. A few weeks ago we stopped in again, sat at the bar, ordered a couple of appetizers and really enjoyed them.

So yesterday we went back.

And now?

I don’t know.

😂😂😂

I enjoyed my appetizer. I think.

Actually, I DID enjoy it.

Would I tell you to get in your car immediately and drive there? Probably not. Would I go back? Probably. Have I ever eaten an actual entrée there? I don’t think so. Maybe I have. I don’t remember.

This is the kind of hard-hitting restaurant journalism you can expect from this blog.

Moving right along.

Because we got such a late start AND stopped to eat, I didn’t finish all my errands, which means guess what we get to do today?

MORE ERRANDS.

Living the dream.

Now We Need to Discuss This Lipstick Situation

Yesterday, a lipstick I ordered came in the mail.

First of all, I just KNEW I was going to open that package and find a melted tube of lipstick because we live in Texas and currently the temperature outside is somewhere between the surface of the sun and Satan’s front porch.

Shockingly, it wasn’t melted.

Great!

Except I hate it.

Please explain this to me.

I TRIED THIS EXACT LIPSTICK ON IN THE STORE.

I looked in the mirror.

I loved it.

I bought it.

They shipped it to my house.

I put it on in my bathroom.

And suddenly it looks terrible.

HOW?

I swear makeup has some kind of store magic.

It’s the same phenomenon that happens at the hair salon. They wash your hair, blow it out and you leave looking like you should immediately be photographed.

Then you go buy the exact shampoo.

The exact conditioner.

The exact brush.

The exact blow dryer.

You go home and recreate every single step.

And somehow you look like you dried your hair hanging your head out the window on I-10.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO US IN THERE?

Apparently lipstick works the same way.

Today’s Extremely Exciting Agenda

So here I am.

It’s 11:56 in the morning.

I’m still in my pajamas.

I’m still in bed.

And I have accomplished approximately nothing.

Honestly? It’s kind of wonderful.

Later, we have to finish yesterday’s errands and go to the grocery store because I have been looking for something really good and different to make us for breakfast tomorrow.

And by “looking,” I mean I have spent an unreasonable amount of time researching breakfast casseroles like I’m preparing a presentation for Congress.

Because apparently eggs are serious business now.

Meanwhile, I’ve Found Another Obsession

While I’ve been lying around accomplishing absolutely nothing, I’ve gotten hooked on Annie Elise on YouTube.

If you don’t know this about me, you should know that there is about a 95% chance my television is playing 20/20, 48 Hours, ID or Oxygen.

Murder.

Mystery.

Husband disappears.

Wife disappears.

Somebody had a secret girlfriend.

Somebody took out a life insurance policy three weeks before somebody mysteriously fell off a cliff.

I AM IN.

There are two categories I really can’t watch: anything involving children because I absolutely cannot handle it, and I’m not particularly into serial-killer stories.

But give me a spouse who suddenly “went missing” while the other spouse is standing in front of a news camera acting suspicious?

Cancel my plans.

😂

And I have a bone to pick with 20/20 and 48 Hours.

Guys.

GET A GRIP.

You advertise a “new episode” on Friday or Sunday, I get myself situated, snacks ready, television on…

AND I’VE ALREADY SEEN IT.

That’s not new.

That’s recycling.

Do not play with me like this.

There is unfortunately no shortage of crazy things happening in this world. Surely somebody can find me a case I haven’t watched three times already.

That’s why I like Annie Elise. She goes DEEP. She gives you details those shows leave out, and she covers so many different cases that I haven’t heard about.

So now apparently YouTube true crime has been added to my list of hobbies.

Very healthy. Very uplifting. 😂

And That’s Pretty Much All I’ve Got Today

There is no dramatic life lesson today.

No major revelation.

No emotional breakthrough.

I’m literally lying in bed in my pajamas talking to y’all about lipstick, breakfast casseroles, murder shows and errands.

And maybe that’s okay.

Tomorrow I really do need to get some things done around this house. Krystal is also supposed to come by at some point to pick up a few things I’m donating to Ladies Who Brunch benefiting Sky High for Kids, but it’s her birthday weekend, so I’m not exactly sure when that’s happening.

Other than that?

A whole lot of big fat nothing.

And you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that.

I almost didn’t write today because I kept thinking, I don’t really have anything to say.

Then I remembered something I promised myself when I started this blog two weeks ago: show up.

I told myself I wanted to write at least five days a week.

Somehow, I’ve pretty much been doing seven.

And I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself for that.

I’m still trying to figure out exactly what this little corner of the internet is going to become.

I know I want it to be funny because I love making y’all laugh. And, quite frankly, my everyday life gives me plenty of material.

But I’ve also learned something I wasn’t expecting.

Writing about the deeper stuff—the things that hurt me, the things I struggle with, the things I normally carry around in my head—has been incredibly therapeutic.

So maybe this blog gets to be both.

Maybe one day we’re talking about family, hurt feelings and figuring out life at 56.

And the next day we’re investigating why a lipstick I loved at the store turned against me the minute it entered my house.

That’s pretty much real life anyway, isn’t it?

Some days are deep.

Some days are hard.

Some days are wonderful.

And some days you’re lying in bed at noon watching a murder documentary while researching breakfast enchiladas.

And apparently I’m going to write about all of it.

I’ve only been doing this for two weeks.

We’ve got time to figure it out. ❤️

And y’all—if you’re thinking, Tammy, enough with the deep stuff. Please go back to telling us about your ridiculous life, I don’t think you can tell me here on the blog.

But you CAN tell me on Facebook. 😂

Just be nice about it.

I’m sensitive.

Sometimes. 😂