This Whole Social Media Thing Is Awkward… But I’m Doing It Anyway

Y’all, I sat here yesterday thinking about this whole social media journey I’m on.

The more I do it, the more I realize I’m making myself vulnerable. I’m putting myself out there for complete strangers to judge, and if I’m being honest… that’s uncomfortable.

I know people think I’m nuts.

They’re probably wondering, “What in the world is she doing now?”

The truth is… I’m just trying to figure out what works for me.

Right now I have my “old social” and my “new social.”

My old social accounts are where most of my people are. I’ve had Facebook since what… 2008 or 2009? That’s home.

My original Facebook feels like family.

I’ve got people from high school, family members, people I’ve worked with, old neighbors, ex-family members, people I’ve known for years… and yes, there are a few people I’ve never met in my life. But it still feels safe.

Those people know me.

They know I’m ridiculous.

They know I’m loud.

They know I’m sarcastic.

They know I’m silly.

They know I don’t take life too seriously anymore.

For a long time, I was serious.

And honestly?

My previous life sucked.

We’ll save that story for another day.

Now I’m trying to be myself.

Not some polished version of myself.

Not some influencer version.

Just… me.

I’ve had people tell me I need to wear makeup.

I need to dress up every day.

I need to do this.

I need to do that.

But here’s the thing…

I don’t wear makeup.

Sure, every once in a while I do, but if I’m sitting at home? Absolutely not.

And yes… I’m in pajamas.

Every chance I get.

That’s just who I am.

My brain says…

“Why am I going to put on a cute outfit, have to wash it or dry clean it, just to sit in my own house?”

That makes absolutely zero sense to me.

If I’m home…

I’m in pajamas.

If I’m running errands…

You’ll probably catch me in an ALO outfit because I like being comfortable.

That’s me.

So why would I suddenly pretend to be somebody I’m not just because I turned on a camera?

The hardest platform for me has been Instagram.

I don’t know why.

For some reason, posting stories over there makes me feel vulnerable.

I feel like people are judging me.

And if I’m honest…

I don’t like being judged.

It makes me angry.

Now don’t get me wrong…

I knew going into this that if I wanted to build something online, people were going to criticize me.

That’s part of it.

I told myself I was just going to let it go.

On Facebook it’s different.

That’s my house.

If somebody acts like an idiot over there… I’ll tell them they’re acting like an idiot.

Then I’ll probably delete them.

Over the years I’ve pretty much weeded out all the jerks.

My Facebook is private.

The other platforms?

Wide open.

I’ve had maybe four or five people leave dumb comments.

Honestly, they weren’t even that nasty.

Just… dumb.

The first few?

I didn’t respond.

I’d look at their profile.

No profile picture.

Private account.

A page full of memes.

I’d block them and move on.

Yesterday was different.

Someone commented on one of my concert videos asking why people were screaming.

I thought…

“Because it’s a concert???”

People sing.

People scream.

People dance.

That’s literally the point.

Then I looked at his profile and saw he was a chef.

I laughed and thought…

“Well… that explains it. You’re in the back of a kitchen with vegetables, poultry, fish, and produce all day. Do you even talk to people?”

I didn’t say that.

I wanted to.

But I didn’t.

I replied respectfully.

See?

Growth.

😂

The truth is…

Maybe this isn’t something I’ll ever be naturally good at.

And that’s okay.

The real reason I’m doing all of this isn’t because I want to become famous.

It’s because I sell jewelry.

If I can build a platform…

I can reach more people.

If I reach more people…

I can sell more jewelry.

And while I’m doing that, I get to share my life.

I love to travel.

I love spending time with my grandbabies.

I love making people laugh.

I love telling stories.

That’s what I want my pages to become.

Now here’s the funny part.

Instagram actually does pretty well for me.

People watch.

They like my videos.

But then…

They leave.

They don’t follow.

It’s almost like they think,

“Oh… that one video was cute.”

And then they’re gone.

So I’ve got to figure out how to make people stick around.

TikTok?

Bless its little heart.

My TikToks are not TikTok-ing.

Maybe one day they’ll decide they like me.

Until then…

I’ll just keep showing up.

I also want to say thank you.

Seriously.

To everybody who’s encouraging me…

Cheering me on…

Watching my videos…

Sending me messages…

Thank you.

Y’all have no idea how much that means.

And I also know there are people watching who are laughing.

Some of y’all think I’ve completely lost my mind.

That’s okay too.

Because here’s how I look at it…

I’m over here trying.

You’re over there making fun of somebody who’s trying.

That says a whole lot more about you than it does about me.

So keep watching.

Keep laughing.

Because here’s what’s really funny…

My kids tell me all the time that their friends send them updates about my posts.

“Did you see what your mom posted?”

“Your mom is crazy.”

“Your mom is hilarious.”

Whatever.

If my posts weren’t interesting…

Nobody would be sending them to my kids.

So thank y’all for helping my engagement.

I appreciate it more than you know.

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to build something.

I’m trying something new at 55 years old.

I’m learning.

I’m failing.

I’m figuring it out one post at a time.

Some videos will flop.

Some will surprise me.

Some people will love me.

Some people won’t.

That’s life.

The one thing I’m not going to do is pretend to be someone I’m not just to make strangers on the internet happy.

If you follow me…

This is what you get.

Pajamas.

ALO outfits.

No makeup most days.

Travel.

Jewelry.

Grandbabies.

Dogs.

My husband saying something ridiculous.

Me laughing at myself.

And probably oversharing more than I should.

But it’ll always be me.

And honestly…

I think that’s enough.